4 Ways We Build Up Our Black Children

Not only am I a mother, but I am a black mother raising black children. One boy. Two girls. As a mother it is my job, my want, my need to protect them. From the day they are born the world tries to tell them they are not enough, less than, so it is my duty as the chosen one to bring them into this world to teach them that they are more than enough. Here are four steps we take as black parents to protect out black children. 

1. Pour Into Them

   Before we ever sit them down to have “the talk” with them about the harsh realities of being born black we pour into them. We let them know just how beautiful being black is. From their perfectly created kinky, curly, crowns to their melanin drenched skin. Mantras and affirmations are a part of our daily routines. They are great ways to help your child gain confidence and self-love. The goal is to tell them who they are before the world tries to label them.

2. Educate Them

    We teach them their history....Black History that should be being taught to them and their classmates at school. We provide them with books that are created by people who look like them with characters that look like them. I also find whenever I need to talk to my children about something important, like racism, reading an age appropriate book is a great starting point. The Conscious Kid is an amazing source for things like diverse children's books. Click here to check out their list of children’s books that support conversations on race, racism, and resistance. We also teach them through play. Learning through play is an important part of a child’s development. Just like with books we are sure to provide our children with toys, dolls, puzzles, etc. that all look like them. We take fun kid friendly activities like painting rocks and creating chalk art and use those moments as opportunities to spread important messages. While adorning our rocks with #BLM and drawing out messages like “I WANT TO GROW UP” we take those opportunities to discuss what these things mean and how we feel about them. Watching kid friendly programs together is another great way we educate our children. Programs such as “Coming Together: Standing Up To Racism by Sesame Street and CNN. Our youngest is five years old and we found this to be a great way to include her into the discussions we were having with our older children. I will say the older kids got a lot out of that program as well.

3. Prepare Them

    The last thing I want to do as a mother is send my children out into the world unprepared. My husband and I have open and honest conversations with them. The idea of keeping quiet in hopes of preserving a child’s innocents does no one justice. Children live in this world with us. They see, hear, and feel what is happening around them. The harsh reality of things is many children have already had their own experiences with racism. We also give direct instructions on how to handle situations, like how to interact with law enforcements. Our son is autistic one of the most amazing tools we’ve used was a social story created by Joy F Johnson. You can check it out here. By preparing our children at home we are giving them a save space for them to freely feel all their emotions, express their concerns, and ask questions.   

4. Pray

   As an entire family we pray over our children. Of course, we pray for their health and safety, but we also pray they understand that they are perfectly and beautifully crated by God. No mistakes were made when God gave them their beautiful brown skin and gravity defying hair. We pray they can have a childhood and all the magic that comes with that stage of life. We pray that our teachings are always evident in the way they live their lives. That they live with integrity, respect, and self-love because when you love yourself loving others is a lot easier. 

Lastly, I would like to add a quick reminder. While important, these conversations are heavy. It is extremely important to give information along with ways to cope. Black children’s mental health matters. 

Of course, there are a ton of other ways we protect and build up our black children, but this is pretty much the foundation in our household. We love on them, we teach them, we prepare them, and we pray over them. Oh, and as a friendly reminder through it all.....